Sorry we moved!

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So why migrate services? Blogger is a service founded in 1999, and it is archaic at best so I decided to move to a popular web 2.0 hosting service, tumblr. So far I am liking it a lot more, as it appears "crisper." See you there!

Standing on the Ledge

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live life to its fullest potential."

-Mary Anne Redmacher

Last night, I rappelled off a bridge in the middle of downtown Lafayette. Wait, stop! Did I really do that?! What is going on? That's so out of character for me... I think this is okay.

I grew up throughout high school, being taught the importance of being cautious. Often I would find myself on a ledge, but I would never actually jump because all I could see were the possible risks involved. A lot of that I regret now. There are many opportunities I passed up growing up because I didn't want to jump off the ledge. I appreciate what I was given in life, but now I think it is time to live a little and not be so reserved. Instead of standing at the ledge, thinking and backing off after lengthy deliberation, maybe I should take a leap at times. A leap through which one can learn through experience.

Anyways back to the story. Last night Allyson and I were at a Bible study, and our small group was going through a passage in James 3 filled with metaphor so we decided to perform an interpretive dance as part of our presentation of our discussion to the larger group. In the past, never would I have stood up and improvised a dance in front of a group of 30 or so people. I don't know what has come over me, but I did it. Normally what held me back in the past was being judged by other people. But you know what? I don't care what they think. Life needs to be lived.

After the study we headed to one of Allyson's co-worker's houses for a celebration of free strawberry puree, complete with deep fried onions. Later in the night one of the guys brought out rappelling gear and asked who wants to rappel off the bridge overhanging the railroad down the block. A few of us sprung to the challenge. At first I didn't intend to participate, but after thinking I decided. I would do it! I am tired of standing on the edge being cautious and backing off. I want to jump. I want to live. While I did bang my knee slightly on the way down, I do not regret the experience. It wasn't on my bucketlist, but I wish I could still line it off. Perhaps I have learned something from this. Maybe I am finally putting aside my cautious ways and learning to take that leap of faith off the ledges we encounter in life.

"I'm Not Dead Yet"

So I haven't updated the blog in some time now. I just wanted to say that I'm not dead yet. I'm still alive, and I think I am getting better. Life has been chaotic since returning from spring break, and I haven't had the time to get everything done that I would like to. I haven't had as much time to spend with people, update my blog, and I have fallen way behind on my letters for Lent. Perhaps things are picking up since I found time to write this? Really, I don't know if they are or not.

So a lot has happened since the last post. Spring break in Tennessee was amazing. I got to ride a horse for the first time and I saw so many incredible, awe inspiring sights while hiking in the mountains. Also I decided to get baptized and connected with several individuals on a spiritual level with whom I didn't think was possible. Despite all of this, I think the best part of break was a 10 minute window spent with Allyson before worship on the night of baptisms. We were praying together, and it hit me for the first time how far I have come in a year. A year ago I was an agnostic, kicking and screaming about spirituality. God has instilled something awesome in me, and I am floored to be able to recognize that. God works miracles!

So what else? School and life in general has been chaotic. I have been dealing with this and that, and I am getting tired of it all. It appears to be letting up at this point, but we can judge that down the road. My research is continuing and little has happened. I have my first batch of pupae and the plants are maturing despite a fungus gnat infestation. We are planning on starting a second set of control larvae next week. Last week I took part in Humans vs Zombies (a school wide game of tag that simulates a zombie infestation) with Allyson and my squad, Weapons of Mass Seduction. Over that week, I attended all five missions along with a handful of day missions, and I extracted (won as a human player) on Saturday after having taken out over 150 zombies during the week. On Sunday Allyson and I were also given the opportunity to usher Spamolot, which was an awesome experience and a great production.

On this Friday and Saturday I will be dancing in Allyson's dance piece in X-works. Earlier this semester Josh Stephenson, Andrew Robbins, and I offered to be in Allyson's piece because she needed male dancers for it. Personally, I offered my services because I had as light as a semester that a double science major can have. Mainly, I saw it as an incredible opportunity to experience something that is a passion of Allyson. I really do think it is important to become at least slightly familiar with our significant other's passions. The whole experience has been invaluable. I have learned a lot and really stretched myself and gained a greater respect for Allyson's dancing and choreography.

As life become less chaotic, I move forward. Hopefully next week turns out to be better!

Clocking In

So I have been attending a leadership class through Campus House for three weeks now. Well, during the second class Rob briefly mentioned logging the minutes of your day as a self-reflection exercise. There are 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86,400 seconds in every day. How we spend these precious moments is a demonstration of how we prioritize our lives. Each of us have limited time on this world, and what we make of that time is important. 

Personally, I wish to make the best use of my time as possible so I decided to take on the task of logging my minutes in a ledger, as Rob suggested. My days vary and tend of be diverse so instead of logging a day, I decided to log an entire week to account for abnormalities that might show up. That's a total of 604,800 seconds from which I was able to budget my time for the week. From Tuesday, February 24th to Monday, March 1st I recorded how I spent the minutes of my day in my phone. At the end of it, I gathered all of the minutes in an excel spreadsheet and generated the following pie chart.

I think a few things have been made apparent by the little exercise. I definitely am too tethered to the internet. The number of hours I spent using my computer to check facebook, browse the internet, blog, talk to people, etc was slightly overwhelming. Additionally, I don't have a lot of homework this semester. I knew going into this semester that it would be an "easy" semester compared to what I am use to with my typical double major course load, but I didn't expect to clock is so few hours for homework. Also I really do feel that the chart has shown me how much I love the work God is using me for through the lab I am working for. This is the first time I have ever counted the time spent in lab for a week. The minimum requirement for research is ~4 hours a week. Well, I spent over 12 hours working in the lab. I didn't spend all that time in the lab because I have to. I spend that time in lab because I love what I am doing, and I feel like it is what God is calling me to do. In someways I feel that it is a form of worship and that I have been given a spiritual gift in a way.

At first I hesitated to clock in hours spend "praying/worshiping" because it is such an ambiguous thing to measure. We have all heard "pray continuously" before, and I feel like that really does hold true to me since I hardly commit my thought process to a single topic due to "cloud thinking." I really do pray continually. What I logged in the graph was the hours spent par taking in intentional prayer/worship. Yet, somehow I wish the slice of the pie was larger.

Clearly, I have a few things to focus on. I really do wish to reduce the role that the internet plays in my life. Perhaps I can enlarge the portion of pie, which prayer occupies in its place!

An Inked Reminder

So this idea has been brewing in my head for awhile now, but right now I sort of want to put it down in words. I am considering the thought of eventually getting a tattoo. Getting a tattoo is a HUGE life decision since it sticks with you forever. Usually it is a decision made at a young age that one comes to regret. Well, part of the reason I want one is for the reason that many people are hesitant. I want something that sticks with me forever.

Last semester Rob, one of the pastors at Campus House, had us write "mercy" across our hand/wrist. The purpose of doing this was to be a constant reminder during our day of the mercy God has shown us. For awhile I would write mercy across my wrist on random days, usually on days that I wasn't in the greatest of moods. There are so many times that you stare at the underside of your hands during the day, usually without knowing. Writing something in that location can serve a fantastic reminder for a homework assignment that is due, an item that needs to be picked up from the store, or as a symbol of your faith. 

Though recently I have tweaked the formula. I have begun to draw the Celtic trinity knot in the place of mercy. To me writing mercy/the trinity knot on my wrist is a constant reminder of who I am and what I believe. Such a tiny thing scrolled across my wrist can help me recenter during the day. If I were to get a tattoo it would be the trinity knot on the underside of my wrist to serve as a constant reminder of my heritage (I am 50% Irish) and my commitment to living a Christian lifestyle. 

I have also pondered the notion of getting a Celtic Cross on my back left shoulder blade. The image would serve the same purpose, but I guess it would be more aesthetic because you generally don't stare at your back during the day.

This is a huge decision, and I don't expect to make it overnight. For now, sharpies.

Parlez vous francais?

I'm learning French. Yeah... I never thought I would say that sentence, but I just said it. Is the world falling apart? Nah, I have just come to accept something...

Last week I went in to talk to Dr. Murdock. During the conversation he mentioned that I should learn French because he needs more French speakers on our research team because most of the members are too old to learn. My initial was reaction occurred internally and was along the lines of "Heck no. There is NO WAY that I am learning ANOTHER language, especially if it is French." Externally I just sort of had a blank stare, and I ended up leaving for class.

Well, the thought of learning French plagued me for the days which followed. Something deep inside me compelled me to pray and think about the idea. Suddenly, I was intrigued by the thought. Could I really learn yet another language? Dr. Murdock is the head of several projects in French West Africa, all of which  involve improving the world's food supply. By learning French, I would be able to assume a more direct role in these projects and be able to experience our work in a more hands on approach. 

The work would involve direct interaction with native farmers and researchers in the western countries. For me at least, the most important element would be the gift of getting to see this unique region of the world that has been plagued by poverty, crime, and starvation. I wish to meet and talk to the people who the research is and will directly benefit. Often research is contained in a laboratory, isolated. I was once involved in systematic, isolated laboratory work, and the work seemed empty. My new position has provided countless opportunities, including the chance to remove this disconnect from my work, a window to truly experience something.

I feel like God has offered me an amazing set of opportunities through my lab position. Learning French has been on my mind a lot lately. God has opened a door for me with this once in a life time chance. And you know what? 

I want to go through that door. I am learning French! I know not what experiences lie ahead of me, but learning the language in itself will be an adventure, which will lead to an even greater adventure down the road. Several days ago I started to teach myself through Rosetta Stone and generated vocabulary lists for review during the day. Wish me luck!

Au revoir.

Mind Clouds

The other day I was in Campus House, and I was talking to my friend, Hannah who had been reading my blog. She suggested that I write a poem or something for a post. While I may be a metaphorical person by nature, the whole rhyming thing is not exactly my cup of tea. But her comment gave me an idea! 

I have mentioned before that my thoughts are organized in clouds. My thoughts are independent of one another, but sometimes they intersect or split off. My mind is constantly jumping around among all of the clouds that float in my head. Well, I figured that a tag/word cloud would be a great visual representation of how my mind works.

I went to a word cloud generator, here and typed in the text field at the top. Basically I just sat at my computer and typed everything that popped into my head: full sentences, fragments, simple words. The image below is the result of my self reflection exercise, which lasted about 30 minutes. The larger a word is, the more often it appeared in the thoughts that I wrote down.

Click to Enlarge Image

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; third, by experience, which is most bitter." 
-Confucius